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Presidential Politics Edition
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Barack
Obama
The Illinois Senator survived the Reverend Wright controversy by
delivering one of the greatest civil rights speeches in the history
of the Republic. His delegate lead looks insurmountable.
He leads Hillary Clinton by more than 700,000 popular votes.
Her campaign is cash strapped; he has millions in reserve. Next time Hillary
attacks Barack, she should bring kryptonite.
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Hillary
Clinton
The former First Lady continues to throw the kitchen sink at Obama.
Despite a victory looming in the Pennsylvania Primary and a surge of
support from uneducated white males and laborers, Hillary will not
capture the delegate or popular vote lead in the remaining ten
contests. Her Waterloo moment came last week when Florida and
Michigan lawmakers closed the casket on her efforts to force new
elections in both states. Florida and Michigan violated DNC
rules by changing the date of their respective primaries and lost
their right to seat delegates at the 2008 Democratic Convention in
Denver. The New York Senator caused herself unnecessary
embarrassment by claiming she dodged sniper fire during a 1996 visit
to Bosnia. CBS video footage confirmed Clinton was stretching
the truth in an effort to appear heroic. Liar, liar, pantsuit
on fire.
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Bill
Clinton
After antagonizing Obama last January with race-baiting rhetoric,
the former leader of the free world was broadly condemned in the media. Resurrecting
his role as henchman-in-chief,
Bill suggested on March 21 that Obama was unpatriotic and continues to
launch incendiary attacks. Recent polls revealed his disapproval rating
hovers above 50%, a dramatic drop in popularity that may taint his
legacy.
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Bill
Richardson
Braved ridicule and public accusations of disloyalty from the
Clinton camp after endorsing Obama for President in Portland last
Friday. If Obama becomes Commander-in-Chief, Richardson might
score a high-profile cabinet post. If Obama falls short of the
glory, Hell hath no fury like a Clinton scorned.
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Al
Gore
The Oscar and Emmy winning Nobel Laureate is increasingly
mentioned as a compromise candidate in the event of an Obama
collapse. The upcoming IPO for his media company is expected
to earn the former Vice-President at least $50 million dollars.
He continues to wield international clout as he leads the charge
against Global Warming If Obama or Clinton fail in 2008, he
remains a leading candidate for the 2012 nomination. |
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John
McCain
An embarrassing series of gaffes during his recent trip to Iraq exposed
McCain to ridicule but no one really noticed. Voters are
focused on the mud fight in the Democratic Primary. The
Arizona Senator is surging in
recent polls.
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George
W Bush
Considered one of the worst presidents in history, both Republicans
and Democrats are counting the days until he is out of office.
Violence in Iraq is escalating again and the economy is in peril.
The national debt is nearly 9.4 trillion dollars. Time for a
permanent vacation.
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Prepared by
Christopher Vetter |
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